Hi world.. I can’t say I have delightful days lately.. Turned out this week IS a crap (present tense alert).. My mood has been swinging up and down, partly because I’m having my period.. Partly because my sinusitis attacked.. Damn it, I couldn’t sleep right at night because of this, and I would wake up the following day feeling miserable..
To make it worse, a couple of days ago I heard from one of colleagues that my superior talked about me behind my back, and I should say that he didn’t say a good thing about me.. So yeah, it helped me to have a bad week.. I never like being talked in the back.. It feels like being back-stabbed, most importantly when you’re 100% sure that none of the talks is true.. It hurts every part of your body.. I hate it..
In short, it brought me to a deep cogitation about what I’ve had done wrong.. Was it my fault? Haven’t I done great enough for him at work? Or could it be a bad karma because I sometimes talked about him behind his back, so maybe the universe screwed and punished me.. When I thought about all those things, I cried, and I cried, and I cried.. My boyfriend was the only one who had my back all those time when I felt low.. And I’m grateful for that..
After a really long period of contemplation, I jumped into conclusion that this WAS NOT my fault.. When you feel that you’ve done everything in your power to do what you think is best, and still get no proper respect from your superior, then you can’t blame yourself.. When you keep being nice to someone that you know dislikes you, it doesn’t make you a hypocrite.. It just shows that you’re a better person that he/she is.. When you face someone that likes to search for your every single weakness, even the littlest one, then that someone is narrow-minded.. NONE OF THOSE THINGS IS YOUR FAULT.. NONE OF THOSE THINGS IS MY FAULT..
The bottom line is, like Mario Teguh once said “Someone that likes to hunt for other person’s flaws is actually a stunted person.. It’s just his position that is high.”